Warnings: Pokémon Go (sorry, not sorry)
World: Justice League (Unlimited)
Summary: A drabble where Green Lantern is baffled AF about whatever Flash is whining about, and then it gets even weirder when Batman shows up.
John was just trying to have one little cup of coffee in peace, with no weirdness going on, before he had to leave for the other end of the galaxy as Green Lantern again. There would be plenty cause for mind wipe by the time he got back here, so he just wanted to have one last moment of normalcy before leaving. It wasn't too much to ask for, was it?
Apparently, in the watchtower, it was.
“Maaaan, the best egg is still 2.1 out of five! Most people get to complain about never having enough incubators, but I have like kazillion of them in my bag because this stupid thing thinks I'm a car”, Flash pouted, and tapped away at his smartphone with obvious frustration. He didn't seem to be talking to anyone in particular, just yelling at his phone like anyone who was having difficulties with technology. Which meant basically everyone on the planet at some point or another.
But this wasn't the weird part, even if John admittedly had no idea what Flash was talking about; he probably needed to stay on Earth for longer periods of time sometime soon. It was the next thing that happened that crossed the line from mildly baffling to strange.
“Going too fast, it says. Well sorry, I'll just go slower while, I dunno, saving the world! If that makes you feel better”, Flash said, and seemed to deflate with a huge miserable sigh. “...I just wanted a baby or two like everyone else...”
“Give me your phone.”
John did a double-take. He hadn't even seen Batman walk into the cafeteria, much less approach Flash. But there he was, holding a hand in Flash's direction in a demanding manner.
Flash looked up and straightened his back, pulling the phone closer to himself in suspicion.
“Why? If you're gonna confiscate it because I'm complaining too loudly–“
“Don't be ridiculous. I'll need it for just a moment”, Batman said, and either the tone of his voice or the look on his face made Flash relent and hand the device over. Batman immediately hooked it up on what seemed to be his own phone – it was a bat-themed custom made thing, but John assumed it was a phone – and spent a few minutes tapping on both screens. Flash appeared to be craning his neck to catch a glimpse of what was going on, and John much felt the need to do the same, even if he didn't go for it. Before long, Batman gave the phone back to Flash.
“I overrode the tracking so that it won't attempt to keep up with you when you move faster than the average human walking speed. It will instead take a note of the place where you last stopped and then calculate the distance between that place and your next stop, and add that into your distance counter. Your eggs should be hatching each time you stop running”, Batman said.
John understood the theory, even if he was left completely in the dark about what they were discussing in the first place. Flash, however, went from confused to ecstatic in the span of one second.
“Really?! That's awesome! Dude, how did you even– Wait, no way! Are you–?”
“Mystic. Level 37. 228.”
“Wow, I have maybe half of those! I'm level 23, and Mystic too! I mean, I meant to pick Instinct but I accidentally ended up with Mystic, haha! But you know what, maybe it was meant to be! What do you say we take down some Valor gyms together sometime? They're practically always level 10 in Central City and I just can't take them down on my own”, Flash said, beaming at Batman. He stood up and appeared to be vibrating with excitement over whatever the heck they were talking about.
John didn't know what Flash was asking, but surely Batman would say–
“Saturday. I'm bringing Robin.”
John decided to leave his cold coffee where it was and exit the room post-haste before this, whatever it was, got any worse.
He had other planets to visit, with the hopes of finding some normalcy.
Which do you think is the reason behind this madness? : D
A) Robin made him do it
B) He needs to keep up with the trends to understand the behaviour of the criminals
C) He wants to be the very best (like no-one ever was) at everything, because he's Batman