Fics make me think too much omg

Jul. 20th, 2017 12:36
jadeile: (thinking)
[personal profile] jadeile
Okay, so I was reading this fanfic where basically everyone is some flavour of queer. Nothing new there, I like reading those. But this particular one was about a gay boy and a non-binary female-presenting person, whose superhero-self presented male. So little gayby fell for the superhero side and then later found out they're usually non-bin fem-pres and it was a little confusing for a bit as far as "how do feelings and sexuality even work??" goes. It was a lovely fic btw.

So, it got me thinking about my own orientations. I haven't ever been particularly dramatic or confused or conflicted about this; I've just been adding into it whenever something has randomly clicked. Like...
I'm a girl
+I like boys
+I like girls too
+Not sexually though
+I seem to prefer girls over boys a little

But the one thing I've been lowkey conflicted about is where trans and non-bin fit in. Or rather, I've been feeling slightly (and unreasonably) guilty that I can't make myself interested in trans people. Transitioned or not, male or female, doesn't matter; brain or heart or whatever decides these things gives me a firm NO. Something about not quite looking right?? Makes me feel like a judging and looks-centered douche, but I can't help it OTL

However, I haven't given much thought to non-bin before. I kind of just assumed they were in the same category with trans as far as my interest went, but it turns out they aren't. At least, that's how it feels now? But like, I seem to have some seriously ridiculous conditions here:
+androgynous is fine, as long as the body is actually female
+genderfluid is fine, as long as the body is female

So apparently my slight preference for girls makes a world of difference here, for some reason?? Seriously, orientations are confusing and make very little actual damn sense. Makes me so glad I'm an ace; at least I only have to struggle with romance here instead of mixing sexuality in too. 

Conclusion: female-presenting are almost always fine (excluding trans), but male-presenting need to be cis. 

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